I barely notice the call to prayer anymore.

Has it stopped happening five times a day? No. I have just become so used to it that it now goes unheard by me.

It feels as if suddenly I have settled right in. I feel comfortable. A child screams at the top of her lungs outside my dining room window and I know it will be the woman on the street corner her gives her wee ones a swift hard swipe around the head if they do not beg for money from strangers or manage to sell a bag of lemons to them. When I feel as if I am ‘settling in’, I remind myself not to settle in too much - because to do so would be to accept that mother’s using their wee children for income, is actually ok; when it’s not.

The child keeps crying.

A dog barks. A motorbike zips by. Horns toot. Birds sing. A plane roars its take-off over my apartment building. A cooling wind blows dust through my kitchen windows and coats my freshly cleaned dining room table with yet another microscopically fine layer of ground up ancient history.

Who knows what that dust contains.

Everyday I simultaneously pinch myself that I am here at all and roll my eyes with some mental crazy-as thing I have just witnessed.

This is Cairo. Cairo does not speak for all of Egypt - but I imagine that it certainly whispers a good part of it.

A bike locked up on the Nile Corniche belongs to a sleeping man

It has been a while since I have written a blog so I thought I would make one out of an email I recently sent a friend who was considering coming here for a visit. My email to her outlined some of the nuances of Egypt, so that she had a ‘heads-up’ on what to expect.

Since that email, I have visited the Sinai and also have much to say about that wander into the mountains; and I have also been to New Zealand and back for my daughters graduation - a long heinous drawl across half of the planet; a punctuation in my otherwise unimportant life, so that I can share one of her more important moments.

My daughter with her batman cape flapping in a brisk Wellington breeze.

I have finished my teaching for the academic year and will be using my time to solidify my 2023-2024 lessons so that I can then relax for 8.5 weeks, hopefully in some cooler climate than the unearthly hot promise of Cairo. So hiking it is in the UK for me - maybe - and I am actually chomping at the bit for some greenery, some tent life and some simplicity.

Also some Dr Marten sandals.

I went to Giza Zoo recently. I had intended to go to the Wadi Degla but as my right hand is in a state of disrepair due to my frisbee v thumb incident, I thought it safer to stay away from possible scrambling requirements - and so I Ubered to the zoo with high hopes and my 100-400mm lens.

The zoo was depressing; dirty; unkempt; over-crowded with both people and animals and antiquated.

People threw food to the caged prisoners; gosh, someone had even managed to throw a toilet cistern into the baboon pit - and I just needed to get out of there as soon as I could. I felt supremely annoyed by Egyptians during that time; firstly for allowing the zoo to get into such a state of disrepair, and secondly for their wanton disregard for nature: I am SO sick of the litter, rubbish, trash - remnants of 15 million people casting their cast-offs into an ‘out of sight out of mind’ place and using that same mentality in of all places, the zoo. Occasionally I ask myself what I am doing here when some things frustrate me so much; other times I make myself marinate in the actual moment so that I can appreciate where I am - in one of the planets most oldest civilised regions; especially when on the way home in the work bus, I catch a glimpse of the pyramids in the background - their trigonic shapes juxtoposed against a mish-mash of satellite dishes and balconies. .

Cairo is special.

It is an open-air museum.

I thought about when I first came here and how soon I realised if it wasn’t for the ex-pat Facebook pages I had joined, I would have been lost. There was no “How to Cairo” manual; it really was a matter of bungling along.

Now that I have had five months of bungling, I can unpack some of the quirks and nuances of living in Egypt. Some people may find this info useful for if they ever plan to come to the top of Africa, for others, who knows - maybe it simply provides some entertainment.

On arrival - it is all pretty straight forward arriving into Egypt via Cairo (I understand it may be different if flying into Sharm El Shiek); the immigration folk are pretty laid back and you should consider yourself lucky if you get your bags searched!

Visa: You can buy a visa on arrival at Cairo airport - $25 USD (have the cash ready). It’s easy and no problem, if you know where to find the visa place. Its actually a bank payment! The visa is handed over in exchange for $25 US dollars at one of several small bank counters just before you go through passport control.

Cash: Egypt runs on cash. I now know to bring some USD to exchange for EGP - enough for an Uber from the airport and a sim card. Most credit cards will work here over the counter and in ATM machines. Best not to exchange too much for EGP as you cannot exchange it back into USD or Euro or anything else useful when leaving.

Sim card: There's a Vodafone booth in the airport. Egypt will allow people to use a local sim with proof of identity - usually it lasts 4 weeks only which is pretty much the coinciding with the tourist visa anyway. There are vodafone stores everywhere - the bane of my existence, because communication is shocking. Grab a sim - its cheap, but a pain as you need to fill out paperwork. You cannot use your NZ number here even with roaming. I do not know about numbers from other countries. The airport has free wifi, which you may be able to use with an NZ number - not sure. If ordering an Uber then make sure to have a sim installed first.

Vodafone: While we are on the subject - I use this company and have to endure the monthly experience of ‘topping up’ which is more like an exercise in tearing my hair out as it involves going to yet another tiny place and taking yet another number and sitting on yet another sticky vinyl seat and then attempting via sign-language to talk to yet another person who thinks I am an idiot, in order to beg for more data. Please. It always runs out right when I need an Uber.

Taxi v Uber: A taxi driver will try to fleece you because you're a foreigner. The fare from the airport to my place in Maadi, in an uber, should be no more than 150 EGP ($7.50 NZD). A taxi driver will charge you 3 x that - or at least try to. If you get in a situation where you cannot for whatever reason, order an uber, negotiate FIRST with the taxi driver (they don't speak english usually), so use your phone calculator to type in the EGP and show it to them. Start low - at 100 EGP, they may be ok with that. I usually only pay around 100 EGP for an airport uber. Depends on time of day. But at least with a taxi, if your phone has a flat battery or whatever, you can always just get a taxi - have the address written somewhere that you need to go, so you can show them. If you get hassled say "La!" (short "A") not like "laa". It means ‘no’. By the way, most people don’t use seat belts here. Women sit in the back on the right. Men can sit in the front (seat belts in the front so def put it on!). If there’s a rear seat belt, use it. Drivers here are nuts. Don’t freak out about that - I’m used to it now but if you’re not you will shit your pants if the road is super busy and how they drive here. They all seem to be vying for some sort of Uber world land-speed record (usually whilst on their phones…).

And there’s always tuk-tuks!

I wasn’t fast enough to click this tuk-tuk veering around a corner of two-wheels just seconds earlier.

If getting an Uber at the airport come out of the building, go down to the parking areas below and head to a clear area like 3b or 3c well beyond the Arrivals hall. It’s CHAOS when it’s busy and this makes it hard to find the Uber. Look at the number plate when it shows in the app and try to memorise the shapes! If nothing else you will at least learn the first ten Arabic numbers!

Uber App: The single most useful app I engage with several times weekly. It makes me wonder how Cairenes survived before smart phones. I Uber everywhere thats a decent distance away and so rely on my data being active through Vodafone AND Uber being reliable - which it is (at least in my experience).

Driver: I have often toyed with the seemingly luxurious option of having a private driver and I know several people who do. My neighbour uses one for airport arrivals; some people use them for big road trips - I may use this idea at some point, but for now I am happy Ubering and striking up broken Arabic-Englizi conversations conducted whilst being shuttled at break-neck speed.

Language: Some Egyptians speak good English, most speak one or two words, many speak none at all. My Arabic is growing but it’s an exercise in frustration (probably more for my Arabic teacher than for me!).

The watermelon truck has broken down, spilling melons onto the road.

"Egypt Time": Everything takes ages here. I always allow extra time for any travel. Traffic jams are shocking between 4-7 pm. Somehow things work out but it seems impossible at the time. Cars and motorbikes engage in relentless horn beeping; often I am left wondering why - everyone is attempting to funnel their vehicle into some bottle neck and no amount of horn tooting will change that.

And yet they honk. And yell at each other through open car windows. And gesticulate. It’s a carnival of body language and car horns.

Consequently the majority of cars are dented and scraped. Various colours of masking tape festoon the curves of car bodies; some have bungee cords holding bumpers on; rear lights hanging by a wire or two or totally missing. I am not sure what the laws are here regarding the condition of vehicles but some are super dodgy looking.

People also seem to possess an uncanny knack of napping wherever they are - and it’s not unusual to see people kipping in the afternoon under the shade of a tree or even literally on the side of the road. They are not always homeless folk either! But there’s plenty of people living on the streets, alongside the dogs and cats.

The other thing I love about Egypt is the way they live their lives on show. If chair sitting was an Olympic event, Egypt would be the world champions. On every street corner; in every doorway; in every alley or sidewalk, outside any church, mosque, public building, park … you name it … will be some dude sitting on a chair. usually accompanied by another guy sitting (and sometimes sleeping) on another chair. I am constantly amazed at how many people they need to do the job of chair sitting. This is paralleled in grandeur only by the number two pass-time, of looking at weird things that are going on. There seems to be an expectation of watching someone do something like dig a hole in a random place - plus have another guy watching the first guy to make sure he’s watching the guy digging. It’s a crazy old time here in Cairo.

It is what it is.

A homeless person sleeping in the early morning alongside the Nile on the Maadi Corniche

Trains: I once took a train to Alexandria so it is only fitting that I include a short section on train travel. The trains do not run to time. They may LEAVE on time but they sure as shit will not arrive on time! The glorious thing about train travel is that train tracks generally take you through the least glorious parts of any town. Usually the litter-strewn train tracks set the scene for the back parts of houses - where people casually biff their junk out of a kitchen window, or off a balcony - just so long as it isn’t inside the house then we’ll be alright, Jack. And so great plies of collected life waste build into colourful papery, fabricy, plastically mini-mountains. And the dogs and cats come to rifle through the disgorgement of people’s lives, looking for the teeniest morsel.

Back to the trains: There are many trains daily that go to Alex. Cost is expensive - about $20 USD each way. Bus is about half that. It's expensive because we are foreign. Locals pay a fraction - like $5! You cannot book any tickets online with a foreign credit card here in Egypt. You need cash. So what you do is front up at Ramses Station in Ramses Square (Uber may spell it Ramsis), and take the LEFT elevator up, and turn left. You will see a big sign saying something like "Foreigner tickets". Follow that to the end of the hallway and turn left. There is a small room there. Always carry your passport and have USD for the train (actually it IS worth having a wee bit of USD for some things). Book your return ticket to wherever you want to go (VIP First class) and don't lose it. Then try to find the correct train (good luck - remember - life is a journey!). In my case I went to “Is-kan-dray-ya”. This is Arabic for Alexandria. There is a huge sign which should have English every 30 seconds but when I have been there I have never seen anything but Arabic. Ask at the central kiosk info booth thing on the ground floor, show them your ticket. They will sort you out. Look for your train car number (count from the front engine!). Numbers are sometimes written in English. If you're lucky you could book the Talga - the new fancy train. And FYI - VIP First class is still a shitty train with a gross toilet! If you don't mind spending the money, a private driver from Cairo to anywhere and back could be another option in terms of lower stress levels. The guy who writes these blogs gives some train times. The Egyptian railway website is useless and SLOW. However this guy's blog is outdated in terms of where the foreign ticket office is. Ramses Station is a bustling conglomeration of noise, dirt, voices, people, bad food, old rusty trains and opportunists. Keep your wits about you.

On my return trip from Alexandria, the conductor took great delight in giving my train ticket a tour of the entire car - showing each passenger the price I had paid in USD - laughing loudly, I was clearly the butt of the joke, as he gaffawed to people about the “American” (no doubt the word ‘idiot’ was tacked onto that), and the price I had paid. What a dick. I’m not even American …

Two women in an upper story Cafe in Alexandria

Google Maps: This is my best friend. I have found my way around Cairo and Alex with google maps, although I have a very good sense of direction anyway, but it's been brilliant. I do need to make sure I always have a charged battery bank with me if I plan to be out all day or away for days - I used my phone a gazillion times more than I did in NZ, due to location services and this just vampire-ishly sucks the life from my batteries faster than Count Drac in a blood bank. I also take my charger with me now wherever I go.

Street hasslers/hawkers/vendors: It's a shock when you first arrive in Egypt how aggressive some of these people can be. I didn't like Alexandria much for this reason - I was hassled relentlessly at first. I got so pissed off. I just walk straight ahead, avoid eye contact and ignore them. If they really annoy me I scream "La!" at them, or Kefaaya - (enough!), or Khalos (stop!). I felt liked I needed to watch my bags in Alex, there's a lot of gypsy kids there as it's so close to Turkey/Greece etc. It's just got a different vibe to Cairo. I like Cairo.

I feel quite safe here.

When I first moved to Maadi, the locals here stared a bit; but foreigners in Maadi are a common sight due to the number of international schools which attract teachers and many foreign embassies. Now they don’t stare so much but every now and then someone hard-core stares. This still gets to me a bit - usually solved by flashing them a broad smile or pointing my camera at them.

Dust: It's super super dusty. It covers everything. No sooner do you wipe the dust off everything that it’s back again, so if you are susceptible to coughing, it may be irritated by the dust. You will get filthy just walking around outside. You bring that filth into the house; the floor gets covered in dust; the table; anything you leave out. Now that its summer and my windows are open all day, things are even dustier. I also turn flannels brown every night when I shower. It’s gross. Sometimes the wind grabs piles of dust and whirls it right up the height of apartment blocks. Its especially gorgeous to see this in an evening when the sun is setting, but best viewed from indoors through a window!

Internet: There's no fibre in Egypt, so internet is either absent totally in some places, super slow or a mix of unreliable and slow. Most cafes have wifi but you have to put in an Egypt phone number - that's normal. And then you sit there drinking coffee with terrible wifi. It is what it is! Wifi in my apartment is one of the baneful aspects of my existence here. Every month at least once, WE (the provider) stops providing, and we all get chopped for a few days (but still have to pay for the honour of no internet). It’s always ‘maintenance’. Then miraculously it comes back; then it goes again because while it was off your monthly date turned over and now you need to go sit in a tiny room, take a number and plead for more.

Street Dogs/cats: There's thousands of these animals everywhere. Cats are mostly ok, although some are timid as heck. Dogs are usually very friendly but will be tick-ridden. I like to be cautious about patting any dogs or offering my hand. Most dogs are generally asleep and chilled out during the day but can become super feisty at night. They hang out in packs and these packs can number as many as 20-25 dogs. Thats pretty intimidating. Just be wary. You don't need a rabies jab - some dogs here are vaccinated and even if you do get bitten you STILL have to go get a course of shots. Thats always one of my worries. I have also been told to go get shots if I get scratched by a cat. I have been scratched up by cats here and I’m still alive (just). Oh and mind the dog shit. Dog shit is everywhere here.

The street dogs here are pretty handsome and vary in colours

Pharmacies: These are not like in NZ. They sell every drug under the sun though. I love them. They look as if some dodgy cartel from Mexico runs them. Numerous nefarious looking blokes will hang around outside on doorsteps (as is the Egyptian way anyway - to live on the footpaths), and stare at you intensely as you eyeball up your possible drug haul. You can seriously buy so many things over the counter that you would need a doctors prescription for in NZ.

Water: I only ever use bottled water. Although I did drink the water in the springs coming through the rocks up in the Sinai mountains. I survived. Even for brushing teeth at first I used bottled water then gradually my cast iron gut accepted tap water for teeth. When I look at the state of the Nile, I avoid all water droplets splashed from the road, or hoses, like crazy.

Street food: I guess it would be common sense to avoid all street carts at first, no matter how good it looks. Bakeries with Egyptian bread is fine because it's usually super fresh but only buy if under a cover. It's delicious! The amount of wee bread bakeries perched next to filthy roads is insane. Nothing like a bit of lead to go with your bread, or other heavy metals (and dust - of course).

Local fresh bread stand, directly under the dusty overpass onto the Nile Corniche

Eating at cafes etc: Dirt cheap and amazing food is one of the biggest pluses for me about living in Egypt. I never eat at home or I order out online, for door delivery. Insanely cheap. Insanely delicious as well. It’s so good and I have become a ‘foodie’ again - really savouring flavours and taking notice of what I am combining. Plus the sheer riot of colour that food is here. Aghhh! Its to die for. (well - please don’t literally DIE from eating street food).

Coffee: There really is something about the milk here in Egypt that gives coffee a weird taint. It has taken a while to get used to but, good coffee IS alive and well in Cairo, along with superb cafe ambiance - you just have to know where to look, or be prepared to experiment. Coffee is expensive by Egyptian standards at anywhere from 35 EGP to 70EGP, but still much much cheaper than NZ.

There’s no shortage of good cafes in Cairo. Its just knowing where to find them that is the issue!

Alcohol: You can bring in one litre if you come to Egypt from outside - but we are in a Muslim country here, so alcohol isn't served at most cafes. You need to go to a bar if you feel like drinking. You cannot buy it at supermarkets either. I miss this a lot as I loved a glass of wine in NZ on a Friday night. Recently I brought in a litre of gin from NZ, and at the border control in Cairo they never even asked me the contents of my bags OR if I had alcohol even though I literally carried the duty free bag in my hand. I so wish I had brought in more!

Footpaths and road crossing: There are none - pretty much. Well; sorta. Footpaths are missing in many places so people just walk on the road. There is no such thing as a zebra crossing in Egypt. You just have to start walking and be bold about it, walk with the traffic flow to get across. Car drivers even though they come at you like a lunatic, will (probably) never hit you, unless they are texting and don't see you. They all text and drive here. So I guess the odds could be high ….

The good thing about most roads here is they have a centre strip that is like a mini footpath, and many roads are one way. So you can get across quite happily half way then do it again for the other side. Roads don't bother me any more, but I don't dilly-dally on the big ones. Also I have realised that the speed bumps which punctuate the bigger roads to force drivers into slowing down actually become a good place to cross as well.

Poverty: I wasn't shocked at the poverty here because it reminds me so much of Nepal. There are some areas of Cairo that are really really poor (like Mokattam). There are also some areas that are very swanky and rich (like El Rehab and other areas in New Cairo). Some people literally sleep along the Nile river on the banks under cardboard, while others can’t decide whether or not to stay in the Downtown apartment or the New Cairo apartment because the lip filler appointment is closer to one or the other. Such is life. What does piss me off a LOT though is the mother’s who use their kids to beg for money. What mother does that? Even a poor mother should know better.

The underpass seems to be a place where poverty collects.

Street cats rummage through bins for a nibble to eat in one of the poorer parts of Maadi

The Egyptian 'way': They're a funny bunch, the Egyptians. They talk really animated; everywhere you go there's weird shit to see that is just normal to them - like four kids, Mum and Dad on a motorbike (no helmets of course); fires just burning away on the motorway and some old guy there making a pot of tea; sheep on the side of the highway in the middle of Cairo; tiny kids running around without parents; some guy holding watermelons inside a car boot while going down the motorway; donkeys and carts amidst traffic; kids driving tuk-tuks and vans(!); police and security EVERYWHERE; x-ray machines at every tourist attraction, large store, some supermarkets, malls etc. This is normal. I have come to appreciate the Egyptian sense of humour - they are warm, funny and open people. Like anywhere - there is the ugly side and the beautiful side.

Horse and cart shares the Nile Corniche with cars

Purchasing things in stores v markets: The price is the price in a shop. There is no tourist v local price (although if it's not marked you can guarantee they will add something on!). However if you go to the markets or somewhere like Khan el Khalili, they will haggle with you and let you know they're giving you a good deal when actually they're still fleecing you. I always approach all my purchases with the attitude of asking myself how much I am willing to pay for something. If it's too much I say no thanks and walk away. Silver jewellery here is quite cheap compared to NZ. I have amassed quite the silver earring collection!

My Place: I live in a nice ex-pat area called Maadi. I am one min walk from a wee supermarket; five mins from Vodafone; WE (internet company); gorgeous bakeries; cafes; bookstores. It's a lovely area for walking around. In the evening everything comes to life. It's nice to go to the Nile in the evening to the Mamsha Ahl Misr and eat there. It's 20 EGP to go onto the two km area but worth every penny (that's NZD $1). The view is drop dead stunning. I love the freedom of being in Egypt compared to what I have heard about some countries in for example, the Middle East. Cairo manages to capture that sense of the ‘in-between-ness’, of being on the African continent but right next to the start of Asia (the Suez canal is the official line). I am about a 20 minute walk to the Nile and I love walking up to the Maadi Yacht Club then cutting back into Maadi and walking home via Road 9. Right now the trees along the Nile are utterly gorgeous and the roads and sidewalks are well looked after down this popular stretch of the Corniche. This is where you will find the felucca rides, Nile river cruises, cafes, hotels and more. The Nile Corniche has the ambience of an era gone by. It is the epitome of a city that is furiously trying to insert its modern persona on its inescapable history. The evidence of grand era’s gone by, is everywhere. Dilapidated yet ornate Corniche footpaths and walls guide the walker towards a more modern heart, yet the entire city looks as if it is under construction. Constantly.

A street cleaner stands outside an empty building that would have once been grand to look at.

Our felucca sailor from last weekend. To hire the boat for an hours its 400 EGP. Splitting this cost makes it a nice way to relax for an evening on the Nile watching the sun go down and the river boats light up.

Photography: Everyone knows I live for my photography. I was so chomping at the bit to go everywhere with my camera here, but it is only in the last year or so that Egypt has relaxed strict photography rules. Drones are still illegal - so don’t even try to bring them in. Long lenses are frowned upon and I suspect this was the fate of my ‘lost’ luggage. Do not take any photos of police, army and any military or official buildings. Common sense. So my photography has had to be more discreet than back home. Also, I discovered they do not like you photographing along the Nile towards Zamalek if you are on the Mamsha Ahl Misr. I was followed for four km by a cop because of this once!

I thanked him for his service.

And so, the dust storms blow in and coats everything again. My bedsheets are covered, along with any clothing items left out to dry on the rack. I wonder about the state of my lungs, on the inside of me, if the outside of everything looks this bad. I cannot believe the grime that rinses off my body each night. I feel as if it is so engrained I can not scrub it off.

But this is Cairo. And I don’t really want Cairo to scrub off.

B l o g

I barely notice the call to prayer anymore.

The child keeps crying.

Who knows what that dust contains.

Cairo is special.

I thanked him for his service.